Pain Body And The Birth Of Maliciousness

Pain-body is the accumulated suffering that is gathering up as someone traverses the world. It is that moment when your friend didn’t believe enough in you, and it is the peer that tried to undermine your efforts by peeking out your weaknesses and making fun of them. Sometimes you still roll out the internal cinema sheets and re-play these scenes, trying to differ what went wrong or give a different spin to the whole event. You project yourself handling the situation in a different way by doing all the right things or giving the correct responses to the things that somehow stumbled you back then. This pile of traumatic events that have stacked up in the corners of our mind, is what is described by Ekhart Tolle, as “Pain-body”.

“This accumulated pain is a negative energy field that occupies your body and mind. If you look on it as an invisible entity in its own right, you are getting quite close to the truth. It’s the emotional pain-body. A pain-body may be dormant 90 percent of the time; in a deeply unhappy person, though, it may be active up to 100 percent of the time.” — Eckhart Tolle

Pain-body is similar to trauma in its functioning and results, yet it differs in its intensity and endurance. Trauma may come from a powerful, one-off event that shuttered our core while we try to resonate with it, yet pain-body is something that always exists in one form or another and may grow or shrink depending on our perspective on things. For example, pain-body needs tiny triggers to be rejuvenate given the right ground and circumstances, and a simple response or word from someone may be enough to feed it on its own and lead it to a spike.

I mean who wouldn’t be pissed at all those people that tried to get to you, while you were just minding your own business, trying to make your dent in the world. They attacked you and tricked you, for no apparent reason other than their malicious intentions, while you were just focusing on your job doing the right thing. You got a glimpse of evil as it rose in front of you blocking the good you were representing. Yet this is the perspective that sets the right ground for a number of mindsets to grow, that act against us eventually, and poison the views we hold for the world and our place in it.

For as long as you hold these knot-feelings, in the form of painful events that exist in your memory, you propagate the belief that these people, and thus the whole world in general, took away from you something that was rightfully and legitimately yours. In a way, this view establishes the fact that the world didn’t keep its side of the contract and tried to penetrate your area when it shouldn’t. Violation of contract means breach, which leads to anger and anger consequently leads to the urge for revenge. It is not strange to see all these pain-bodies acting in ways that seem illogical, trying to hurt others or bring upheaval to the world as they manifest as some form of mental illness. Through their act speaks their pain, that has amassed over the years and taken over their perception of the world. From then on, they take over and drive the individual into seeking revenge by any means they have available while acting in highly destructive ways.

Funny enough it doesn’t matter whether you are successful, rich with a number of yots in your arsenal, or poor without a single dime in your pocket, you will still experience this deadlock the same exact way, if you allow these feelings to overwhelm you. Success and failure are only a matter of perspective and many times they don’t correspond to the reality you are facing. A bummer will be a happy man if he encounters the chance to find even the smallest pleasure, while some business-man can still whine about the little scratch in his car all day long.

Emotional states can rotate within us and affect the light through which we observe an event giving it a completely different interpretation each time. An unlucky incident that led you to pain and suffering back a few years ago, can still seem like a gift under the understanding that it led you to the person you are today and taught you lessons you would never have otherwise. A seemingly ‘successful’ individual can still look back at the hardships he had to face and rage on how all these people tried to get at him when he was at his lowest and while he only needed some help to make it through.

So the objectivity of the facts has very little to do with this emotional world that is governed heavily by subjective perspectives. A pain-body will grow bigger and bigger till it consumes the whole of you if it is let loose to go this way. It is actually responsible for many of the unexplained behaviors we encounter today and lies at the heart of many mental issues that devastate the modern world. So if all that is so problematic, what is there to be done so that all these wounds start healing and the damage is repaired?

To fight over the pain-body you need to fight against its origins, and these origins are nothing but the perspective we hold about our past. When I was struggling with pain-body disease and its mental-illness, I would always succumb to the victim’s mindset, where everything would seem to be working against the rules that were supposed to be there. But most often than not, these rules exist only in our imagination. There is nothing dictating how others are going to behave or whether they have the same compass of morality that we do. It’s at this point that stoic philosophers would raise up and yell to stop paying attention to anything outside of our control and focus on the inside tranquility. But the problem I have with that is that it entails a small degree of avoidance and abandonment. It’s like you denounce everything that exists externally while trying to find happiness only on the things that lie inside you. It could work but maybe there is a better way to do it.

What I realized when I started dissecting my past, painful incidents was that most of the pain-body experiences are a breach in our soul. They break the idea we have about the world and how it is supposed to work and unravel the basis of our mental constructs right from the foundation. We projected a paradigm through which everyone is supposed to be coming from, but in reality, there is nothing dictating how others are supposed to run their business. We adopted the limited perspective that people are supposed to focus on their own thing and everything external from us is irrelevant and unrelated to what we are doing, while this could not be further from the truth.

Every time two journeys collide together, we are bound to have infringement and conflict. Various desires and needs blast on each other and fireworks emerge while we stay with a big question-mark of how something like that could ever happen to us. Our view that everyone should act in a similar way with us and according to our thinking and ideas, shutters in a million pieces while we feel betrayed by the fact that our peaceful, gentle path got smashed unjustly by someone else’s for unknown reasons.

It’s this perspective of limiting your focus on your own acts that actually hurts you the most and is bound to create the pain-body in the worst possible way. The way to treat pain-body is not to close your eyes and accept the slaps you receive from anyone that might consider this to be the correct action. It is to anticipate that other people have their own unique rules and you should act in accordance with what is the most connected to your own values. All while including this whole external world that surrounds you with its illogicality and senselessness.

So when I received my share of injustice and angered in view of its poignance it was mostly because I had organized my life in a way to believe that others will always act in some way according to my expectations. And the problem is not that these other people exist or that they acted that way. The problem is that I kept this notion of minding my own business while assuming everyone else will behave in a similar way.

Limiting yourself on the things you can control is like closing your eyes to the lessons that exist around you, showing you the way to navigate life better. But beyond that, there is a bigger issue with this approach. If you limit yourself in a small circle, you are still acknowledging everything else that lies outside of it as irrelevant to you and irrational even in a way that you shouldn’t be bothered with it. The rumination that comes from the pain-body is not there to torture us but to make sure that we get the right lesson, and it is bound to stay there till we actually do. We either expand our circle to include the broader order of things or we succumb under the weight. We either create a new mental structure that entails the new lessons we got from the incident or we keep the old one and suffer from its rigidity.

It is in this external area that our soul hurts the most. It is in the view we have for the world and how it is supposed to behave. Unless we take the necessary steps to enlarge this circle to contain everything we observe, our soul is bound to suffer massively.

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